Last day of 2017. 6 pm. And I’m on sofa loving being alone. No I’m not going to see fireworks, to New Year’s party, I’m not even going out. Yes, I spent the whole day at home. Slept long, made breakfast, fed cat, poured some red in a glass, put legs up and turned music and my pc on. For me, this is the best way to say goodbye to this year.
It is only change of date. Nothing else won’t unfortunately change. Tomorrow I will wake up the same as I am today, as I was yesterday.
Maybe I got cynic, maybe old, maybe everyone is different. Maybe I’m just relieved I don’t have to put fake smile on and face the unknown world. And for once it is amazing to be be happy. Rather than pretending I’m.
I always felt the pressure of celebrating. To go out. Not being alone. To have boyfriend so I can take him to the party. I usually ended up single anyway. Today, being in relationship for 7 and something years, I took myself for date (date on sofa) while Michael is sound asleep as he’s been at work since early.
And the older I got, the more I like the person I’m becoming. Hell, I’m so imperfect. But I learned to accept and love myself as I am and work on it. I’ve achieved so much and went such a long way. From insecure unhappy little person to strong woman who pursues her dreams. Her plans.
I have no New Year’s resolutions. I have plenty of plans.
Don’t try to change overnight. That never ever worked out. Ever. If you really want something, be realistic about it, think about it, visualise it, get ready for it. Don’t plan to lose 20 kilos as you will end up frustrated gaining 3 more instead. Don’t start training for marathons if you never ran 1k in your life and the plan you downloaded from internet looks like in some foreign language. Don’t go vegan if you don’t know why you doing it.
Educate yourself, think, don’t do things only because others do. Live for yourself. Love yourself. And most importantly: be yourself.
Happy New Year kids!
(and always act natural:D)